Coaching by Bill Macaux, PhD MBA

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Insight, Emotion, and Action

An Essay in Moral Philosophy and Psychology

Freedom and Responsibility

Think about what it really means to be free and responsible. It distinguishes us from other species, not making us superior to them, but making us moral agents of action, persons. But to be clear, what is given at birth is the potential for realizing personhood. Full realization is an achievement. That is why it is recognized as an ethical virtue (in Aristotle ἀρετή or Arete), a form of excellence. We cannot do it alone. It is an individual expression of the social phenomenon of oughtness, i.e., what is the good, right, or appropriate thing to do, which we are initially oriented to within our family and with reference to the shared beliefs of our cultural milieu.

To be free is to be conscious of oneself as an autonomous agent of action, for that state of mind to be active and determinative in moments when we face choices of what to do. And to be responsible is to bear the burden of the consciousness of freedom. Therefore, virtue consists in honestly and intelligently examining the human situation, the values and interests at stake, the motivations that prompt our actions, and the likely consequences of that action. When the stakes are high, nothing less than will not suffice. That is the felt weight of oughtness as a call to responsible action.  

Another more frequent display of virtue occurs in the expression of one’s character, that structure of personality which manifests in dispositional tendencies to recognize and honor norms of social propriety and moral goodness. Virtuous character is shaped early within a home where love is freely expressed, where emotional meaning warrants examination, where restraint, not repression, makes it more possible to work through differences. These habits serve us well and can even generate at times a contagion of kindness in others.

Of course, we are imperfect creatures, so being able to notice and admit our moments of feeling overwhelmed, and to apologize for our transgressions is critical. It helps us recognize when our virtuous habits are not enough, when a more deliberate act of freeing ourselves from the grip of passions is necessary.

Work, Family, and Civic Life

The expression of personhood is valuable across all areas of life. We spend a great deal of time at work, and it makes important claims upon us for performance. We can come to see ourselves as mere instruments of productive action in our work roles. It’s an objectification: person as a means. That perception of self can undermine a full and true sense of personhood, leading to feelings of alienation and resentment. Therefore, it is critical that we view our productive capabilities as a portfolio we own and offer in exchange for payment, not a reflection of who we are as a person.

Family life, too, makes claims upon us. We can become too self-sacrificing. Trappings of status, competitive achievement, and materialism can cause us to lose sight of what really matters in family life. What our children and significant others need most from us is love. When stress or strain grows to a breaking point, we must recognize it as a cue to seek help. What feels like a breaking point may really be an inflection point, an indication that our life has gotten out of balance, that we no longer feel free, that our responsibilities feel too much like burdens.

In civic life, we just completed a presidential election dominated by vitriol. A nation needs leaders who resist demagoguery, who approach policy making through rational deliberations. If we are to be a human community, we must improve the civility of our exchanges with one another as persons. In politics and social relations, it is what we owe to one another, reasonableness. When we are in the grip of bitter emotions and resentments, we are not free, nor are we able to find middle ground in policy making. We should expect those we vote for and elect to demonstrate reasonableness in their approach to governance after the votes are counted.  

The Flow of Insight, Emotion, and Action

Reasonableness requires an attitude of restraint. It separates discussion and deliberation from decision making. When differences are discussed, when associated values, aims, and interests are clearly understood, decision making and the art of compromise become much easier to achieve. When conducted in good faith, these exchanges open us to one another. We see one another as persons, sincere in our concerns. It spawns a collaborative spirit. Problem solving becomes more possible. Advances in our policy aims are more easily realized. The dynamics of democracy, the workplace, and family life are messy. But we need not be locked in perpetual enmity.

Emotions. They are not bad nor are they to be avoided. For it is often the case that we will feel a response to ideas or experiences long before we have a clear, cognitive understanding of why we feel as we do. So, we should treat emotions as data. As they arise and spark strong feelings of resistance or attraction, we should pause to consider their meaning. Whether the feelings are ours or the feelings of others, they should be raised for consideration with a curious attitude: What are they telling us about the situation? Allow time to try out words that best capture the meaning. Let the process flow without pressuring the moment. Delve further. What is evoking these feelings?

Reasonable conversations and deliberations, accompanied by the appropriate search for meaning in our more salient emotional reactions, go a long way to help specify what we choose to do (action strategy) and they inform the manner in which we take that action, factors such as attitude, timing, inclusion of stakeholders, and quality of engagement along the way. This approach cultivates a deepened capacity for insight and a more practiced style of collaboration, qualities that make us more intelligent, free, and responsible in all spheres of life, at home, at work, and as citizens.

About Adaptive Development

“We do not learn from experience… we learn from reflecting on experience.”

― John Dewey